- sometimes says he hear's a voice but can't tell us what it is saying
- suffers from bad migraines - occasionally vomits
- makes small repetative noises when sitting with us or through story time.
- can't sit still at home and jumps from sofa to sofa and roly poly's around the room.
- Often says he is rubbish and accuses us of not loving/liking him

The wierd thing about all of this is that his teachers say he is lovely (he is), he doesn't play up or get into trouble. However, he never admits to his teachers when he has headaches at school and will not ask questions if he is stuck.

I have an older daughter who is 9 and my husband and I have considered all the reasons why he may be like this. He has to follow the same rules and we are always consitent with rules and punishments. We are exhausted sad for EJ and believe that this is not just tantrums. My daughter, apart from the odd usual hormonal stomp has never displyed this type of behaviour.

I understand you will be unable to tell me for sure, but would anyone be able to comment?

Yours hopefully
Zoe
PS My husband suffers from Manic Depression and I have always susepcted that my mother has BP although she has not been diagnosed.

Given the family history of bipolar disorder and the symptoms you describe, it's a very good guess that your son has bipolar disorder. You need to find a good child psychologist to get help.

It's not your parenting that is causing the extreme behavior. It's not unusual for a child with bipolar disorder to be angelic at school, especially in the earlier grades, and then totally lose it at home, sometimes the moment he gets off the bus or gets in the car when picked up at school. Being an angel at school can be exceedingly stressful, and it means he he trying, very, very, very hard to contain his anxiety and frustration. (In fact, that's a testament to the good parenting he's gotten at home. You've been a good teacher to both your kids. But one kid is ill, and the other isn't.) Think of the storyline of the guy who has a tough day at work, comes home & yells at the kids, and kicks the dog. Your son doesn't understand what's going on inside and can't begin to articulate it. It would help to get a diagnosis and get the pdoc to write a note to the school recommending a 504 plan (or IEP under Other Health Impaired). Your son's problems at school are not academic but nonetheless, school is exacerbating his symptoms at home, and at the least, accommodations to reduce stress and demands on your son might offer a bit of relief to him at school and at home. It may be a hard sell for a school that sees only an angel, and I think that right now, a pdoc/therapist who understand bipolar in children can help you build the case with the school.

Daunna Minnich
Moderator, JBRF Education Forum